April 2, 2010
EARACHE MY EYE
Performed by Alice Bowie
My momma talkin’ to me tryin’ to tell me how to live
But I don’t listen to her ’cause my head is like a sieve
My daddy, he disowned me ’cause I wear my sister’s clothes
He caught me in the bathroom with a pair of pantyhose
My basketball coach, he done kicked me off the team
For wearin’ high-heel sneakers and actin’ like a queen
—— lead guitar ——
The world’s comin’ to an end, I don’t even care
As long as I can have a limo and my orange hair
And it don’t bother me if people think I’m “funny”
‘Cause I’m a big rock star and I’m makin’ lots of money
money, money, money, money, money, money
Ahhh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…
I’m so bloody rich! Ha ha ha ha
I own apartment buildings and shopping centers! Ha ha ha ha
And I only know three chords! Ha ha ha ha
If you don’t understand this and need an explanation check out the official Wikipedia entry for Earache My Eye (Click Here)
As always –
March 12, 2010
I am not planning on getting a divorce but if I ever do, one reason for my wife filing could be that I REFUSE to ever order for her in a restaurant.
That is comedian Elayne Boosler’s fault.
If you are the target demographic for this blog you know very well who Elayne Boosler is.
She had a joke as part of her routine probably back in the early to mid 80’s where she mocked men who ordered for their dates. The best description of which I found in a review by Lynn Harris of the book -Comedy at the Edge: How Stand-Up in the 1970’s Changed America written by Richard Zoglin.
….about waitressing in restaurants where men order “for the lady.” Boosler: “It made it seem like there could be only one lady. ‘The lady will have coffee.’ ‘OK, the slut’ll go get it.’ “
Because of that joke I can not bring myself to order for my wife and have often refused to do so when asked.
Even ordering a shared appetizer for the two of us makes me feel a little queasy.
Tip to Elayne – If my wife DOES name you in our divorce you can buy her off by finding homes for all the dogs she rescues through your Tails of Joy rescue organization (click here to visit the site)
As always –