EARACHE MY EYE

Performed by Alice Bowie

My momma talkin’ to me tryin’ to tell me how to live
But I don’t listen to her ’cause my head is like a sieve
My daddy, he disowned me ’cause I wear my sister’s clothes
He caught me in the bathroom with a pair of pantyhose

My basketball coach, he done kicked me off the team
For wearin’ high-heel sneakers and actin’ like a queen

—— lead guitar ——

The world’s comin’ to an end, I don’t even care
As long as I can have a limo and my orange hair
And it don’t bother me if people think I’m “funny”
‘Cause I’m a big rock star and I’m makin’ lots of money
money, money, money, money, money, money
Ahhh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…

I’m so bloody rich! Ha ha ha ha
I own apartment buildings and shopping centers! Ha ha ha ha
And I only know three chords! Ha ha ha ha

If you don’t understand this and need an explanation check out the official Wikipedia entry for Earache My Eye (Click Here)

As always –    

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc    

cs

DODGED A BULLET ON THIS ONE

Background – I was never really that big a partier even back in the day.  The reason for this was not big moral issues.  The primary reason was that I didn’t have much money.  Especially during the 80’s.  Since I was in college and started my work career at the time of  “Bright Lights Big City” (not to be confused with the porno movie “Bright Lights Big Titties“)  and all that folklore, a lot of people assume I was heavy in to cocaine.   My crowd didn’t participate because that was expensive. 

I am not the only one who has expressed this view.  I remember (but can’t find the source) when the actress Patricia Heaton who was on the TV show “Everybody Loves Raymond” was asked in a magazine interview about living and working in New York in the early 80’s.  She replied  that she didn’t get in to the heavy cocaine scene because she was too busy working to pay the rent and couldn’t afford it.  Same here.  

I did walk near the edge of getting involved in an even worse problem.  One night in the mid 80’s I remember being at a friend’s apartment and all of us being very “dazed and confused” (weed).  When someone brought up crack houses which we were just hearing the first stories about. 

We all agreed this sounded very cool.  New version of cocaine (affordable)  and you went and smoked it at a house (social).  This whole idea intrigued us. 

Luckily it didn’t intrigue us enough to try it.  Especially since we didn’t know where any of  “these Crack Houses” existed.

The real word on Crack came down not long after that.

Dodged a bullet.

As always – 

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc 

cs

Prison Poetry

March 12, 2010

“IMAGES”

by

Tyrone Green

 

Dark and lonely on the summer night.

Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.

Watchdog barking – Do he bite?

Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.

Slip in his window, Break his neck!

Then his house I start to wreck!

Got no reason…What the heck!

Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.

C-I-L-L …   

My land – lord

 

As always – 

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc 

cs

Homewrecker Elayne Boosler

I am not planning on getting a divorce but if I ever do, one reason for my wife filing  could be that I REFUSE to ever order for her in a restaurant.

That is comedian Elayne Boosler’s fault.

If you are the target demographic for this blog you know very well who Elayne Boosler is.

She had a joke as part of her routine probably back in the early to mid 80’s where she mocked men who ordered for their dates.  The best description of which I found in a review by Lynn Harris of the book -Comedy at the Edge: How Stand-Up in the 1970’s Changed America written by Richard Zoglin.

….about waitressing in restaurants where men order “for the lady.” Boosler: “It made it seem like there could be only one lady. ‘The lady will have coffee.’ ‘OK, the slut’ll go get it.’ “

Because of that joke I can not bring myself to order for my wife and have often refused to do so when asked.

Even ordering a shared appetizer for the two of us makes me feel a little queasy. 

Tip to Elayne – If my wife DOES name you in our divorce you can buy her off by finding homes for all the dogs she rescues through your Tails of Joy rescue organization (click here to visit the site)

As always – 

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc 

cs

 

UPDATE – 10:15 P.M. EST 2/26/10.  It Appears the story was not true!!! Per This Vanity Fair Online Post by Juli Weiner (CLICK HERE TO VIEW)

The Famous Nipple Picture

I am in shock.

There has been speculation for almost 40 years about who was the subject of Carly Simon’s classic “You’re so Vain”. 

 The answer is David Geffen?

Not Mick Jagger, not James Taylor, not David Bowie, not Kris Kristofferson, not Cat Stevens or the most heavily rumored Warren Beatty.

David Geffen?

Dick Ebersol paid $50,000 a few years ago to find this outIf I were him I’d be pissed.

David Geffen?

One story is that she finally announced it to raise her visibility prior to a new album being released.

David Geffen?

David Geffen - Circa 1970's

“All the girls dreamed that they’d be your partner”

David Geffen?

Remember the fake rumors a few years ago about David Geffen being in a relationship with Keanu Reeves and taking him shopping for “outfits”?

David Geffen?

Carly Simon should have taken this to her grave.

As always – 

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc 

cs

From Merrill Markoe via The Huffington Post

WESTMINSTER 2010

The White Working Women in Knee Length Suits Group

As always – 

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc 

cs

 

 

The Barbi Twins?

February 23, 2010

Poster for Movie "Skin Trade"

Today I was reading the feed from The Huffington Post and came across a blog post by Reedu Taha about  the new documentary “Skin Trade” which is an expose’ about the fur trade.  I found the subject of the movie admirable but I found the choice of The Barbi Twins as the face of the movie poster bizarre even though I found them hot “back in the day”

In case you are not familiar with the Barbi Twins they are Identical Twin Celebrity models who appeared in several Playboy pictorials, one of them had a tempestuous marriage to the actor Ken Wahl from the TV show Wiseguy (yes, Barbi and Ken) and the subject of a very popular E! True Hollywood Story.

I did send a tweet out saying “The Barbi Twins are still alive and speaking out against the fur trade”  and I sat down to write a post mocking them.  Then I did some research.

I want to apologize.

I thought they had been around in the 80’s.  It turns out they hit their top fame in the 90’s so that took 10 years off the slam I was going to make about the amount of time since their time in the spotlight.   

Then I got to the part that really made me feel guilty.  They are MAJOR animal activists not just “faces” for the movement but active participants. 

They are apparently very hands-on with their animal rescue projects.  These include actually partcipating in rescues after Huricanes Katrina and Rita as well as during the frequent California fires. They also were the founders of a website  “The Kitty Liberation Front”  which helps promote worldwide animal issues.  They also produced their own documentary “Your Mommy Kills Animals” which was named as one of the top 10 independent films of 2006 by cinephelia.com.

They are anti-pet shops, anti-puppymill and anti-animal experimentations as I am.

So once again, my apologies go out to the Barbi Twins.  They are doing more for animal causes than I am.

Here is the trailer from the movie Skin Trade mentioned earlier –

As always – 

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc 

cs