Earache My Eye – Alice Bowie

EARACHE MY EYE

Performed by Alice Bowie

My momma talkin’ to me tryin’ to tell me how to live
But I don’t listen to her ’cause my head is like a sieve
My daddy, he disowned me ’cause I wear my sister’s clothes
He caught me in the bathroom with a pair of pantyhose

My basketball coach, he done kicked me off the team
For wearin’ high-heel sneakers and actin’ like a queen

—— lead guitar ——

The world’s comin’ to an end, I don’t even care
As long as I can have a limo and my orange hair
And it don’t bother me if people think I’m “funny”
‘Cause I’m a big rock star and I’m makin’ lots of money
money, money, money, money, money, money
Ahhh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…

I’m so bloody rich! Ha ha ha ha
I own apartment buildings and shopping centers! Ha ha ha ha
And I only know three chords! Ha ha ha ha

If you don’t understand this and need an explanation check out the official Wikipedia entry for Earache My Eye (Click Here)

As always –    

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc    

cs

Crack Houses – Social and Affordable Partying

DODGED A BULLET ON THIS ONE

Background – I was never really that big a partier even back in the day.  The reason for this was not big moral issues.  The primary reason was that I didn’t have much money.  Especially during the 80’s.  Since I was in college and started my work career at the time of  “Bright Lights Big City” (not to be confused with the porno movie “Bright Lights Big Titties“)  and all that folklore, a lot of people assume I was heavy in to cocaine.   My crowd didn’t participate because that was expensive. 

I am not the only one who has expressed this view.  I remember (but can’t find the source) when the actress Patricia Heaton who was on the TV show “Everybody Loves Raymond” was asked in a magazine interview about living and working in New York in the early 80’s.  She replied  that she didn’t get in to the heavy cocaine scene because she was too busy working to pay the rent and couldn’t afford it.  Same here.  

I did walk near the edge of getting involved in an even worse problem.  One night in the mid 80’s I remember being at a friend’s apartment and all of us being very “dazed and confused” (weed).  When someone brought up crack houses which we were just hearing the first stories about. 

We all agreed this sounded very cool.  New version of cocaine (affordable)  and you went and smoked it at a house (social).  This whole idea intrigued us. 

Luckily it didn’t intrigue us enough to try it.  Especially since we didn’t know where any of  “these Crack Houses” existed.

The real word on Crack came down not long after that.

Dodged a bullet.

As always – 

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc 

cs

Prison Poetry

“IMAGES”

by

Tyrone Green

 

Dark and lonely on the summer night.

Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.

Watchdog barking – Do he bite?

Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.

Slip in his window, Break his neck!

Then his house I start to wreck!

Got no reason…What the heck!

Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.

C-I-L-L …   

My land – lord

 

As always – 

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc 

cs

Elayne Boosler May Be Named in My Divorce

Homewrecker Elayne Boosler

I am not planning on getting a divorce but if I ever do, one reason for my wife filing  could be that I REFUSE to ever order for her in a restaurant.

That is comedian Elayne Boosler’s fault.

If you are the target demographic for this blog you know very well who Elayne Boosler is.

She had a joke as part of her routine probably back in the early to mid 80’s where she mocked men who ordered for their dates.  The best description of which I found in a review by Lynn Harris of the book -Comedy at the Edge: How Stand-Up in the 1970’s Changed America written by Richard Zoglin.

….about waitressing in restaurants where men order “for the lady.” Boosler: “It made it seem like there could be only one lady. ‘The lady will have coffee.’ ‘OK, the slut’ll go get it.’ “

Because of that joke I can not bring myself to order for my wife and have often refused to do so when asked.

Even ordering a shared appetizer for the two of us makes me feel a little queasy. 

Tip to Elayne – If my wife DOES name you in our divorce you can buy her off by finding homes for all the dogs she rescues through your Tails of Joy rescue organization (click here to visit the site)

As always – 

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc 

cs

Almost Forty Years of Drama – And The Answer is David Geffen?

 

UPDATE – 10:15 P.M. EST 2/26/10.  It Appears the story was not true!!! Per This Vanity Fair Online Post by Juli Weiner (CLICK HERE TO VIEW)

The Famous Nipple Picture

I am in shock.

There has been speculation for almost 40 years about who was the subject of Carly Simon’s classic “You’re so Vain”. 

 The answer is David Geffen?

Not Mick Jagger, not James Taylor, not David Bowie, not Kris Kristofferson, not Cat Stevens or the most heavily rumored Warren Beatty.

David Geffen?

Dick Ebersol paid $50,000 a few years ago to find this out.  If I were him I’d be pissed.

David Geffen?

One story is that she finally announced it to raise her visibility prior to a new album being released.

David Geffen?

David Geffen - Circa 1970's

“All the girls dreamed that they’d be your partner”

David Geffen?

Remember the fake rumors a few years ago about David Geffen being in a relationship with Keanu Reeves and taking him shopping for “outfits”?

David Geffen?

Carly Simon should have taken this to her grave.

As always – 

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc 

cs

Merrill Markoe Be Cracking Me Up

From Merrill Markoe via The Huffington Post –

WESTMINSTER 2010

The White Working Women in Knee Length Suits Group

As always – 

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc 

cs

 

 

The Barbi Twins?

Poster for Movie "Skin Trade"

Today I was reading the feed from The Huffington Post and came across a blog post by Reedu Taha about  the new documentary “Skin Trade” which is an expose’ about the fur trade.  I found the subject of the movie admirable but I found the choice of The Barbi Twins as the face of the movie poster bizarre even though I found them hot “back in the day”

In case you are not familiar with the Barbi Twins they are Identical Twin Celebrity models who appeared in several Playboy pictorials, one of them had a tempestuous marriage to the actor Ken Wahl from the TV show Wiseguy (yes, Barbi and Ken) and the subject of a very popular E! True Hollywood Story.

I did send a tweet out saying “The Barbi Twins are still alive and speaking out against the fur trade”  and I sat down to write a post mocking them.  Then I did some research.

I want to apologize.

I thought they had been around in the 80’s.  It turns out they hit their top fame in the 90’s so that took 10 years off the slam I was going to make about the amount of time since their time in the spotlight.   

Then I got to the part that really made me feel guilty.  They are MAJOR animal activists not just “faces” for the movement but active participants. 

They are apparently very hands-on with their animal rescue projects.  These include actually partcipating in rescues after Huricanes Katrina and Rita as well as during the frequent California fires. They also were the founders of a website  “The Kitty Liberation Front”  which helps promote worldwide animal issues.  They also produced their own documentary “Your Mommy Kills Animals” which was named as one of the top 10 independent films of 2006 by cinephelia.com.

They are anti-pet shops, anti-puppymill and anti-animal experimentations as I am.

So once again, my apologies go out to the Barbi Twins.  They are doing more for animal causes than I am.

Here is the trailer from the movie Skin Trade mentioned earlier –

As always – 

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc 

cs 

Chuck on NBC Is Based On Temple Grandin

Temple Grandin & Claire Danes

 

It started snowing in Atlanta Friday afternoon so both my wife and I came home early.  With nothing to do and not wanting to watch Wall to Wall coverage of “THE BLIZZARD” we decided to watch a movie on HBO that we had missed when it premiered last week,  Temple Grandin with Claire Danes. 

I was somewhat familiar with the real life Temple Grandin story (Click here for a full bio) because my wife is currently reading her book  “Animals Make Us Human” and there was a profile of her on 60 minutes a few years ago. 

The primary thing to know about Temple Grandin is that she is a highly educated and respected animal scientist and professor but is also autistic. Most importantly for this post is that as part of her autism she says that she – “Thinks in pictures”, like internet pages.  She visualizes anything she has seen, in her mind and can pull it back up and piece it together with other like material – Basically she is a human google. 

All of this is covered in the HBO movie and is quite fascinating.  But while watching the movie it dawned on me – SHE’S A REAL LIFE “CHUCK”!!! 

In case you are not familiar with the NBC show Chuck – it revolves around a central character named Chuck who has had massive CIA files downloaded in to his brain.  And when he recognizes something he “flashes” and all the information stored in his brain for that item is downloaded in to his conscious mind – LIKE A HUMAN GOOGLE!!! 

This has to be obvious to everyone who sees both because I am SOOO bad at making these kinds of connections like everyone says that the movie “Clueless” is based on Jane Austen’s “Emma” – Once told I see the connection but I’m not one to spot it. 

If you are not convinced watch the show on Monday nights on NBC and watch the movie on HBO.  Then make up your own mind. 

As always – 

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc 

cs

My Wife Is Delusional About The Who

The Who's - Roger Daltrey and Pete Townshend at the 2010 Super Bowl

This is my Super Bowl inspired post.

My wife has been a fan of  The Who for most of her life.   Her brother was a little bit older and was seriously in to their music in the very early 70’s and was her introduction.  Now he sometimes acts as if he doesn’t know who they are even though he was the one that took her to one of their concerts when she was probably 12 – 14 years old and there has been a love affair ever since.

She does like their music and we have seen them in concert INNUMERABLE times.  In both Stadium and Arena venues. 

One of the most unique was in an outdoor amphitheatre setting that was actually a Roger Daltrey solo concert.  A torrential downpour  let out about half way through and the crowd scattered so we moved from our medium priced seats to the UP CLOSE seats.  I will say that it was a near religious experience watching him sing “Love, Reign O’er Me” while the rain came down in torrents.

The last time we saw The Who was probably in the late 90’s in Atlanta they were good but not great.

Tonight’s Super Bowl appearance was good but not great.

She disagrees with me about both of these performances.

I just think when it comes to The Who, she will always be that awestruck  adolescent seeing her first major stadium show of some true Rock Legends. 

Although she does question – Why is Pete Townshend so desperate for money that he licenses songs from The Who for every TV show and commercial on the air?

She’s delusional not stupid. 

As always –

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc

cs 

 

 

 

Wierd S%#T Happens on Twitter

The CD "Tipping Point" by The Cringe

I’ve had the @IAMDANDC account on Twitter for 2 or 3 months now and of course the people who follow that account are varied.  There have been some writers, comedy clubs (no I don’t do standup) and a wide group of miscellaneous.

Today though was the strangest and or coolest.  I got followed by a band called “The Cringe”  (Twitter name @thecringe).  Now if they were a 70’s cover band I would understand.  But they are based out of New York and record contemporary music.

After following them back, I went to their Website – www.thecringe.com and was checking them out and I knew one of the band members looked familiar.  I’m thinking where do I know this guy from?  So I clicked on the “about” tab on their website and started reading their bios. 

One of the names ALSO seemed familiar but 1+1 was not equaling 2 yet.  But I assumed the familiar name matched the familiar face.  So of course I went to google and googled the name.

This guy who is their lead vocalist and one of the guitar players – IS MARRIED TO RACHAEL RAY FROM THE FOOD NETWORK!!

I knew I recognized that dude.

Check em out and if you are in New York City maybe stop in at one of their dates – which are listed on their website or follow them on Twitter.

As always –

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc

cs