EARACHE MY EYE

Performed by Alice Bowie

My momma talkin’ to me tryin’ to tell me how to live
But I don’t listen to her ’cause my head is like a sieve
My daddy, he disowned me ’cause I wear my sister’s clothes
He caught me in the bathroom with a pair of pantyhose

My basketball coach, he done kicked me off the team
For wearin’ high-heel sneakers and actin’ like a queen

—— lead guitar ——

The world’s comin’ to an end, I don’t even care
As long as I can have a limo and my orange hair
And it don’t bother me if people think I’m “funny”
‘Cause I’m a big rock star and I’m makin’ lots of money
money, money, money, money, money, money
Ahhh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…

I’m so bloody rich! Ha ha ha ha
I own apartment buildings and shopping centers! Ha ha ha ha
And I only know three chords! Ha ha ha ha

If you don’t understand this and need an explanation check out the official Wikipedia entry for Earache My Eye (Click Here)

As always –    

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc    

cs

DODGED A BULLET ON THIS ONE

Background – I was never really that big a partier even back in the day.  The reason for this was not big moral issues.  The primary reason was that I didn’t have much money.  Especially during the 80’s.  Since I was in college and started my work career at the time of  “Bright Lights Big City” (not to be confused with the porno movie “Bright Lights Big Titties“)  and all that folklore, a lot of people assume I was heavy in to cocaine.   My crowd didn’t participate because that was expensive. 

I am not the only one who has expressed this view.  I remember (but can’t find the source) when the actress Patricia Heaton who was on the TV show “Everybody Loves Raymond” was asked in a magazine interview about living and working in New York in the early 80’s.  She replied  that she didn’t get in to the heavy cocaine scene because she was too busy working to pay the rent and couldn’t afford it.  Same here.  

I did walk near the edge of getting involved in an even worse problem.  One night in the mid 80’s I remember being at a friend’s apartment and all of us being very “dazed and confused” (weed).  When someone brought up crack houses which we were just hearing the first stories about. 

We all agreed this sounded very cool.  New version of cocaine (affordable)  and you went and smoked it at a house (social).  This whole idea intrigued us. 

Luckily it didn’t intrigue us enough to try it.  Especially since we didn’t know where any of  “these Crack Houses” existed.

The real word on Crack came down not long after that.

Dodged a bullet.

As always – 

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc 

cs

I Have An Addiction

February 16, 2010

My addiction is not to drugs.  The picture on the left  is a symbol of my addiction to “Sweet Tea” (I’ll explain in a second).  If you live in Buffalo, New York or some other Yankee type place like south Florida and really don’t know what sweet tea is, here you go.  It is simply Iced Tea that has had COPIOUS amount of sugar added just after it has been brewed while it is still hot.

The picture is symbolic of my addiction because the “Gangsta Rap” name bestowed on me by a former coworker is “SWEET TEA”.  If you live in Atlanta I believe it is mandatory that you have a gangsta rap pseudonym/nickname and mine was given because of my addiction to…… (if you don’t get it now you are not very bright)

Now I have been asked by people “how do you make this sweet tea?”  Actually, I really don’t know.   I buy mine from McDonald’s every morning like most people start their day with coffee.  It costs $1.00 for a 32 oz. serving in a great styrofoam cup which makes it last a long time.  Yeah I know it’s not environmentally friendly, but I like it, so – shut up.

In addition it is served at EVERY restaurant in Georgia – except for a few real Hoity Toity one’s that I am too poor to visit anyway.

Some good alternatives to obtain sweet tea include – Chick Fil A, theirs is very good but it costs more than McDonald’s and sometimes gives me heartburn.  Publix sells it by the gallon as do many fried chicken places including Mrs. Winners. 

THE TEA HOWEVER MUST BE BREWED – PROCESSED ALTERNATIVES LIKE NESTEA OR LIPTONS IN A BOTTLE OR HEAVEN FORBID A CAN ARE NOT ACCEPTABLE!!!!!!

I don’t need to know how to make it – I buy it when I am out.  At home I drink Crystal light Lemonade from the mix.

If you want to know how to make real sweet tea at home for some godforsaken reason – check out my friend Kathy Drewien’s Facebook Page that includes a recipe (click here for recipe) or chat her up on Twitter – @kdrewien

As always – 

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc 

cs

The other day I was driving out of my neighborhood and I saw on the community billboard where announcements are posted “Did you know, it’s impossible to fold in half any sized piece of paper more than 7 times”.  See the proof in the picture on the left.

 Doesn’t that sound like something a stoner would come up with?

I’ve been suspicious about activities in my neighborhood for a while and have even blogged about it (Click Here to See That Post).

But this really sounds like a bunch of stoners sitting around at 3:35 or 3:34 in the morning.  Trying to come up with something to write.  You know – Like in the Chicago song “25 or 6 to 4”. 

Which makes me wonder, did the administration and/or band director at my junior high school know, what potentially the song was about when we played it in the marching band?  Because other than the time reference there is still debate to this day of the song’s meaning.

As always –

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc

cs 

 

 

80's Style Wicker Cabinet - Caution Flammable

 

I always loved those song lyrics.  They are from “Inside Out” by Eve 6 (video below).

The song is no great masterpiece but the lyric wicker cabinet always reminds me of the first apartments my wife and I had together in the early 80’s.  Wicker was both the stylish and affordable choice in home decor and World Bazaar was where you got it.   

Hey, it’s not like we were freakin rich and could buy things from Pier One.

We had one neighbor whose apartment opened out on to the parking lot and they left their drapes open all the time so we could see in to their apartment when we were coming and going.  

We nicknamed them “Wicker/Rattan”.  At the time we pretended to each other that the nickname was out of derision for the lavish use of wicker in their Home Decor.  Looking back now I realize we were just downright jealous.

I partied with them a few times and did learn their real names.  The last time I saw either of them was about a year after we moved out of that complex and when I ran in to him he had lost like 30 pounds, looked like a definite coke freak and ready for rehab.

I guess a beautiful apartment with Wicker Home Decor just wasn’t enough.

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc

cs

As a Point of Reference you may want to watch this scene from my favorite movie 1993’s “Dazed and Confused” before you read this post.

That clip is not just entertainment.  Within the group of people I grew up with it is known as a “HISTORICAL REENACTMENT”. 

The one in our neighborhood was known as “The Back Door” because the entrance was on the back loading dock side of a strip shopping center.

Some people were told by their parents to stay away because  “bad kids hung out at these places” and that “there were drugs”.  Both of those things were true, and I was there every weekend for a few years, until “The Beach” became the place to be (future blog post).

I was never banned from going there because my parents were big drinking buds with the owners.  (Click Here to get more information about my parents and their drinking habits).  Plus when it originally opened, it was billed as a “Teen Disco and Game Room” – The Teen Disco concept lasted just a few hours after opening but my parents always thought of it that way.

This was not Chuck E. Cheese.  There were mostly Foosball and Pool Tables with a few pinball machines sprinkled in.  This was a few years before Pac-Man.

I visited several of these places in that time frame and they were all the same and they were all just like the above video.  There weren’t usually any drugs actively being used IN these establishments.  The drug use which mostly consisted of drinking and marijuana took place driving/riding around in cars – so there was CONSTANT in and out.  If any of these places had tried to institute a policy of once you leave you can’t come back – nobody would have ever come back.   This was the place to meet up with your buds and go for “A Ride”.

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc

cs

I’ve been hearing my whole life about the dangers of marijuana.  Primarily how it will lead to hard drugs including heroin.  Never fell for it.  I mean get real, with the name of this blog did you really think I would have an anti marijuana stance? 

Spin is often used to create this perception.  The anti drug people will tell you that marijuana is a gateway drug and that 90% of hard drug users started with marijuana.  That may be true but digging further in to the statistics you find that 90% of  marijuana users never move on to harder drugs.  

If we use the logic as presented by the anti drug coalitions then alcohol should be made illegal because the overwhelming majority of marijuana users start by drinking alcohol.  Once again though the majority of alcohol users don’t use marijuana.  So get over it. 

How is this at all relevant to Hooters? 

A lot of people believe that Hooters is a gateway occupation to becoming a stripper.  The truth as I have discovered over many years of research at Hooters restaurants (I really like their wings.  Ask my former employees who used to call me “Chicken Man”) and various strip clubs (usually in the company of my wife)  is similar to that of marijuana.  While it may be true that a large number of strippers started out as Hooters waitresses, the majority of Hooters waitresses never become strippers. 

Hooters Icon LA

  

This post is dedicated to Lynne Austin aka LA.  A Tampa hometown girl.  Graduate of Leto High School which means she knows the meaning of the word “Creeker” and –

“THE ORIGINAL HOOTERS GIRL” 

  

  You can follow me on

Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc

 

CS