Prison Poetry

March 12, 2010

“IMAGES”

by

Tyrone Green

 

Dark and lonely on the summer night.

Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.

Watchdog barking – Do he bite?

Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.

Slip in his window, Break his neck!

Then his house I start to wreck!

Got no reason…What the heck!

Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.

C-I-L-L …   

My land – lord

 

As always – 

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc 

cs

Homewrecker Elayne Boosler

I am not planning on getting a divorce but if I ever do, one reason for my wife filing  could be that I REFUSE to ever order for her in a restaurant.

That is comedian Elayne Boosler’s fault.

If you are the target demographic for this blog you know very well who Elayne Boosler is.

She had a joke as part of her routine probably back in the early to mid 80’s where she mocked men who ordered for their dates.  The best description of which I found in a review by Lynn Harris of the book -Comedy at the Edge: How Stand-Up in the 1970’s Changed America written by Richard Zoglin.

….about waitressing in restaurants where men order “for the lady.” Boosler: “It made it seem like there could be only one lady. ‘The lady will have coffee.’ ‘OK, the slut’ll go get it.’ “

Because of that joke I can not bring myself to order for my wife and have often refused to do so when asked.

Even ordering a shared appetizer for the two of us makes me feel a little queasy. 

Tip to Elayne – If my wife DOES name you in our divorce you can buy her off by finding homes for all the dogs she rescues through your Tails of Joy rescue organization (click here to visit the site)

As always – 

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc 

cs

From Merrill Markoe via The Huffington Post

WESTMINSTER 2010

The White Working Women in Knee Length Suits Group

As always – 

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc 

cs

 

 

THIS IS NOT A JOKE.  I AM DEADLY SERIOUS.

If I knew then what I know now I would have gotten a Copyright on this term.

When we thought it up, we thought it would be an inside joke to replace “creeker” about low class people.  Now, 30 years later it is not uncommon to hear this term bandied about.

I did a lot of research for this post.  I typed in “Origin Low Rent” in google and checked the first result.

According to Wordnik.com  the American Heritage Dictionary gives three definitions  –

  1. adjective Informal Having inexpensive rent: a low-rent apartment.
  2. adjective Informal Of low social status or moral character: “Steve Buscemi … may play low-rent, amoral types—hit men, weasels, snivelers—but … he’s more complicated than that” (Richard Leiby).
  3. adjective Informal Lacking taste or refinement: a low-rent television drama.

Interestingly there is no etymology or origin listed.  BECAUSE MY WIFE AND I INVENTED IT!!!  At least the usage under definitions 2 and 3.  I am not trying to say I invented the concept of inexpensive rent when somone is talking about their monthly rental expense.

I remember it like it was 10 years ago.  We were living in our first apartment.  We had friends over for a Dazed and Confused type of evening and had been watching the Sunday Night Movie of The Week – Airport ’77.  The one with Lee Grant, Jack Lemon and Brenda Vaccaro where they have to escape from the plane that has crashed underwater.

This being 1980 there was no cable tv in the city of Tampa yet.  There was cable outside the city limits where our parents lived which got you TBS from Atlanta, WGN from Chicago and if you paid extra, HBO.  This meant we had rabbit ears and that Sunday night late night TV was BAAAD.

We somehow ended up watching what I later came to realize was PTL Club.  Now remember we were Dazed and Confused and this was the first time I had ever seen Tammy Faye Bakker.  We made so much fun of her.  Her hair, her accent, her clothes and of course the makeup.  We decided the term to best describe her was “LOW RENT” (see definition #3).   We must have said it at least 300 times that night – we were so witty.

Over the years we used definitions 2 and 3 interchangably as appropriate.  Our friends and family adopted the saying but it was a few years ago that we saw it start creeping in to pop culture references.  The most recent occurence was by comedian Josh Wolf on one of his appearances on the Chelsea Lately roundtable on E!.  Oh, he was spouting it off like it was something he invented.

I want my Royalties.

Or at least an acknowledgement on the etymologies section of wordnik.com

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc

cs

UPDATE:  I HAVE BEEN ADVISED BY TWITTER USER @MORROWLAND OF THE FOLLOWING – “Bette Midler was usin’ “low-rent” in her nightclub/concert shows in the 70’s. and then every gay in NYC used it too.”  So I guess the title of this blog should be “I Subconciously Stole The Term “Low Rent” from Bette Midler in 1980″.   So I have put strikethroughs in key spots and posted this update.  Thank you to Loni Love for retweeting this blog so I could be set straight. – 1/4/09

Huggy Bear Circa 1970's as Portrayed by Actor Antonio Fargas

Well O.K. it wasn’t Huggy Bear but it was a Black Dude that dressed like him and it did happen in 1977 in Los Angeles so the title of this post creates the mental imagery I wanted.   

Background – When I was 15 my family took a trip to California.  This was a VERY BIG DEAL.  Much like when The Brady Bunch went to Hawaii.  Except I was an only child,  didn’t find an evil Tiki God or meet Vincent Price.  I did get to see a taping of  “Chico and The Man” at NBC.  Unfortunately this was after Freddie Prinze (The father of Freddie Prinze Jr. if you are under 40) had died but Della Reese was still on the show.  During the trip there were some “Dazed and Confused” type of experiences and then there was the incident of the pimp propositioning me at the airport.

In the 1970’s we had learned about teen prostitution from the blockbuster TV Movie – Dawn: Portrait of a Teenage Runaway starring Eve Plumb formerly of The Brady Bunch.  How bad could it be if Jan Brady did it?  

So we had arrived at the Los Angeles Airport and were waiting outside of baggage claim for the family friend with whom we were staying to arrive and take us to their house.  Being an impatient teenager I was walking up and down the sidewalk away from my family.

At one point a guy walked up to me and said “you visiting?” to which I of course replied “yes” and his response was “we ought to do some sightseeing while you are here, here’s my number” and handed me a folded piece of paper which I crammed in to the pocket of my then everpresent Blazer Styled Jeans Jacket without even looking at it and probably said something like “O.K.” and walked on.

At whatever point I opened the note it said – Marcus Ph.# 555-1212, XXOOXX

Now maybe I’m being dramatic and the guy was just being nice and wanted to take the boy with the feathered hair sightseeing.  But I’m still suspicious since  he had on a three piece black Velvet suit with a matching hat.  We learned in Dawn: Portrait of a Teenage Runaway, that meant he was a pimp.

 

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc

 

CS

Chicken Man and Loni Love

December 20, 2009

Chicken Man's Favorite Meal

This is actually a followup to two previous posts. Several weeks ago I did a post on another blog professing my Twitter Love for comedian Loni Love because of her interaction with me via twitter (click here to see that post).  Then a few days ago I made the post on here “Marijuana and Hooters are The Same Thing” (Click here to see that post) .

After Loni Love mentioned the original post on her Twitter account the views of that post SKYROCKETED to the highest numbers ever seen before or since.

Well it has happened again.

I let Loni Love know about the “Marijuana and Hooters are The Same Thing” post on this site yesterday morning.  Loni specifically noticed a very small mention in the post where I revealed the nickname some former employees had given me.  Which is  “CHICKEN MAN” due to my love of any type of chicken but especially fried.  She mentioned it to me so I sent out a Tweet sharing that Loni Love had called me “Chicken Man”.

I had been happy with the number of views of the post up until that time but then this tweet came through on Twitter.

That is a retweet and what just happened was that  Loni Love just sent a link to my blog post to all her followers. 

The numbers SOARED through the roof once again.

LONI LOVE IS POWERFUL

If I made any money off this blog I would owe her a cut for being my publicist.

The main thing is it is just a nice thing to do for a fan.  Do you think Joel Stein could ever be bothered to do something nice? doubtful from what I have read.

For more Information on Loni Love – Website www.LoniLove.com,  Facebook Fan Page (Click Here) or of Course on Twitter at www.twitter.com/lonilove

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc

CS