It’s very strange that I had no problem buying liquor or illegal drugs when I was underage but I was too embarrased to buy condoms in a drug store.

In the group of friends I hung out with, fear of pregnancy was very high.  I think we would have had less of a problem calling our parents to bail us out of jail on a minor drug offense than to come home and tell them you had gotten someone pregnant or were pregnant (my female friends, not me).

My solution to this dilemma was to buy condoms from a vending machine in the bathroom of a gas station that was at the end of the airport runway.

I finally got over this fear of buying condoms publically when I was about 18 and moved in with my now wife and she had no problem sending me to the store to buy her “feminine hygiene” products.  Once I tackled that fear, condoms were no problem.

The fear of pregnancy followed my wife and I through our 20’s and 30’s.  We were never ready to have kids, didn’t have enough money to have kids, we should have done that last year, all the usual reasons.  We then realized one day we were too old to have kids.  Probably not biologically but definitely psychologically.  We were selfish and self-centered. 

Children can’t be let out in the yard to play until you get up at 1:30 p.m. on Sunday because you were out at a club until last call the night before.  Dogs can. Cats don’t even need to be let out, you can ignore them.

 We never talked about our lack of desire to have children with family very much which led to the following encounter between my wife and her father when we were in our late 30’s –

My father in law had some sort of surgery and my wife had gone to Florida to be his “nurse” during this time.  As he woke up from the anesthesia, she was standing there and he asked her “Have you had Charlie tested?”  her response was “for what?”.  He then said “well you’ve never had kids”.  Her final response –

“I guess it might help if we stopped using birth control”.

End of discussion.

As always –    

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc    

cs

EARACHE MY EYE

Performed by Alice Bowie

My momma talkin’ to me tryin’ to tell me how to live
But I don’t listen to her ’cause my head is like a sieve
My daddy, he disowned me ’cause I wear my sister’s clothes
He caught me in the bathroom with a pair of pantyhose

My basketball coach, he done kicked me off the team
For wearin’ high-heel sneakers and actin’ like a queen

—— lead guitar ——

The world’s comin’ to an end, I don’t even care
As long as I can have a limo and my orange hair
And it don’t bother me if people think I’m “funny”
‘Cause I’m a big rock star and I’m makin’ lots of money
money, money, money, money, money, money
Ahhh! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…

I’m so bloody rich! Ha ha ha ha
I own apartment buildings and shopping centers! Ha ha ha ha
And I only know three chords! Ha ha ha ha

If you don’t understand this and need an explanation check out the official Wikipedia entry for Earache My Eye (Click Here)

As always –    

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc    

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DODGED A BULLET ON THIS ONE

Background – I was never really that big a partier even back in the day.  The reason for this was not big moral issues.  The primary reason was that I didn’t have much money.  Especially during the 80’s.  Since I was in college and started my work career at the time of  “Bright Lights Big City” (not to be confused with the porno movie “Bright Lights Big Titties“)  and all that folklore, a lot of people assume I was heavy in to cocaine.   My crowd didn’t participate because that was expensive. 

I am not the only one who has expressed this view.  I remember (but can’t find the source) when the actress Patricia Heaton who was on the TV show “Everybody Loves Raymond” was asked in a magazine interview about living and working in New York in the early 80’s.  She replied  that she didn’t get in to the heavy cocaine scene because she was too busy working to pay the rent and couldn’t afford it.  Same here.  

I did walk near the edge of getting involved in an even worse problem.  One night in the mid 80’s I remember being at a friend’s apartment and all of us being very “dazed and confused” (weed).  When someone brought up crack houses which we were just hearing the first stories about. 

We all agreed this sounded very cool.  New version of cocaine (affordable)  and you went and smoked it at a house (social).  This whole idea intrigued us. 

Luckily it didn’t intrigue us enough to try it.  Especially since we didn’t know where any of  “these Crack Houses” existed.

The real word on Crack came down not long after that.

Dodged a bullet.

As always – 

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc 

cs

I Have An Addiction

February 16, 2010

My addiction is not to drugs.  The picture on the left  is a symbol of my addiction to “Sweet Tea” (I’ll explain in a second).  If you live in Buffalo, New York or some other Yankee type place like south Florida and really don’t know what sweet tea is, here you go.  It is simply Iced Tea that has had COPIOUS amount of sugar added just after it has been brewed while it is still hot.

The picture is symbolic of my addiction because the “Gangsta Rap” name bestowed on me by a former coworker is “SWEET TEA”.  If you live in Atlanta I believe it is mandatory that you have a gangsta rap pseudonym/nickname and mine was given because of my addiction to…… (if you don’t get it now you are not very bright)

Now I have been asked by people “how do you make this sweet tea?”  Actually, I really don’t know.   I buy mine from McDonald’s every morning like most people start their day with coffee.  It costs $1.00 for a 32 oz. serving in a great styrofoam cup which makes it last a long time.  Yeah I know it’s not environmentally friendly, but I like it, so – shut up.

In addition it is served at EVERY restaurant in Georgia – except for a few real Hoity Toity one’s that I am too poor to visit anyway.

Some good alternatives to obtain sweet tea include – Chick Fil A, theirs is very good but it costs more than McDonald’s and sometimes gives me heartburn.  Publix sells it by the gallon as do many fried chicken places including Mrs. Winners. 

THE TEA HOWEVER MUST BE BREWED – PROCESSED ALTERNATIVES LIKE NESTEA OR LIPTONS IN A BOTTLE OR HEAVEN FORBID A CAN ARE NOT ACCEPTABLE!!!!!!

I don’t need to know how to make it – I buy it when I am out.  At home I drink Crystal light Lemonade from the mix.

If you want to know how to make real sweet tea at home for some godforsaken reason – check out my friend Kathy Drewien’s Facebook Page that includes a recipe (click here for recipe) or chat her up on Twitter – @kdrewien

As always – 

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc 

cs

In the 1970’s it was fairly easy to buy liquor when you were underage.  Bad fake ID’s were the best bet.  Even major chains would sell to you with those.  Mine claimed I was from California.

The drinking age at the time was 18 and if you looked 14, a lot of places would sell to you even without the fake ID.

In our neighborhood prior to obtaining a fake ID, the place to buy the preferred brand of under age drinkers (Miller in a Bottle) was a Cuban Market in our neighborhood that had taken over the space of a closed convenience store. 

The owners did not speak english and asking for an ID in any language was not in their vocabulary. 

Once we got our beer we would walk down to a wooded area behind a taco place that had taken over the old Dairy Queen.  Sit on some rocks, drink our beer and listen to people order their tacos at the drive thru.  Then wander on someplace else.  The 70’s involved a LOT of walking from place to place.

Now that I work daily in marketing  I would say the owners of that store were marketing experts who had identified their niche market and were providing a service to them.  The risk of being caught by the police selling to underage drinkers was outweighed by the potential profit reward. 

Evaluating Risk vs. Reward  – the formula for any Entrepreneur.

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc

cs 

 

80's Style Wicker Cabinet - Caution Flammable

 

I always loved those song lyrics.  They are from “Inside Out” by Eve 6 (video below).

The song is no great masterpiece but the lyric wicker cabinet always reminds me of the first apartments my wife and I had together in the early 80’s.  Wicker was both the stylish and affordable choice in home decor and World Bazaar was where you got it.   

Hey, it’s not like we were freakin rich and could buy things from Pier One.

We had one neighbor whose apartment opened out on to the parking lot and they left their drapes open all the time so we could see in to their apartment when we were coming and going.  

We nicknamed them “Wicker/Rattan”.  At the time we pretended to each other that the nickname was out of derision for the lavish use of wicker in their Home Decor.  Looking back now I realize we were just downright jealous.

I partied with them a few times and did learn their real names.  The last time I saw either of them was about a year after we moved out of that complex and when I ran in to him he had lost like 30 pounds, looked like a definite coke freak and ready for rehab.

I guess a beautiful apartment with Wicker Home Decor just wasn’t enough.

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc

cs

As a Point of Reference you may want to watch this scene from my favorite movie 1993’s “Dazed and Confused” before you read this post.

That clip is not just entertainment.  Within the group of people I grew up with it is known as a “HISTORICAL REENACTMENT”. 

The one in our neighborhood was known as “The Back Door” because the entrance was on the back loading dock side of a strip shopping center.

Some people were told by their parents to stay away because  “bad kids hung out at these places” and that “there were drugs”.  Both of those things were true, and I was there every weekend for a few years, until “The Beach” became the place to be (future blog post).

I was never banned from going there because my parents were big drinking buds with the owners.  (Click Here to get more information about my parents and their drinking habits).  Plus when it originally opened, it was billed as a “Teen Disco and Game Room” – The Teen Disco concept lasted just a few hours after opening but my parents always thought of it that way.

This was not Chuck E. Cheese.  There were mostly Foosball and Pool Tables with a few pinball machines sprinkled in.  This was a few years before Pac-Man.

I visited several of these places in that time frame and they were all the same and they were all just like the above video.  There weren’t usually any drugs actively being used IN these establishments.  The drug use which mostly consisted of drinking and marijuana took place driving/riding around in cars – so there was CONSTANT in and out.  If any of these places had tried to institute a policy of once you leave you can’t come back – nobody would have ever come back.   This was the place to meet up with your buds and go for “A Ride”.

You can follow me on Facebook at “I am Dazed and Confused” or Twitter – www.twitter.com/iamdandc

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